JokesKazi

...5000 word assignment you still will be paid $30 for this project. It would be great if you could: - Write something about your self - Include copy/articles written by yourself - And show me 3 photos of your family - Previous one was a joke ;) If you are reading this then probably you are a serious dude that I'm looking for to work with. This ad was long and full of my super funny jokes - if you manage to go through that, you can do anything ! Hope to hear from you...

only need theme related links Prank, Practical Joke website needs well-ranked (p2+) incoming-only links to build SEO status. Links must be from sites specialising in Pranks, Practical Jokes, Comedy, Gags etc. Links must be permanent. Links Must be White Hat. Must be English speaking, preferably US, Canada, UK and Europe. NO articles, forums or social network sites links! Spreadsheet detailing links to be sent budget is tight so bid accordingly

An? original? comedy script for a radio show is required.? The? show is focused on current events and topical humor. We require a skilled comedy writer to write 10 minutes of topical jokes and or monologues. ## Deliverables 1. Provide final? deliverables? in script format (Word or RTF) 2. Jokes must be? original? (i.e your own) 3. The script when read aloud must be around 10 minutes long. 4. Jokes should be topical (i.e? relevant? to 2009) 5. Lists of "one-liners" will NOT be accepted? 6. Jokes must not? rely? on? visual? props as all? martial? will be? performed? in? audio? only 7. Please ask if you have any question 8. Please ask if you think a joke is? inappropriate? 9. We will be selecting several writers who will all g...

Looking for bloggers who can write fluent English about football (soccer) Posts: 100-200 words. Topic: UK and European soccer opinions, humour, videos, jokes, quotes etc. Not news or match reports. Examples of the kind of content we want can be found on the likes of or or caughtoffside.com. Each Article must be unique, 100% copyscape passed. No payment if fails copyscape. UK Audience Payment via Paypal. We have full rights to articles once you've submitted them. Post direct to Wordpress blog. Please submit bids per 10 posts.

As you can see in the attachment there is already a logo for the Tinoz network, it was made a few years ago, now I found rent a coder , I can do so much more and when I have finished the site update, a new logo is needed. ## Deliverables The theme for the website of the uprising network is Black background and green (lime). Often I made jokes about conquering the world and ruling it al. This I said because I think the way of life is not what it could be , people stopped caring for oneanother and people spent lots of money on things they don't realy need. Also polution, seal hunting, communication commercialisation and such are subjects I have a critical vision on. I have been diagnost with schitsofrenia and can be very paranoia. I learnt from my fears that there is a lack of...

For several years I have maintained this page of the top 100 funniest jokes. Not everyone agrees with the order. I would like to implement a way to let site visitors give each joke a rating (1-5 or 1-10) and have the page actively display the average rating number for each joke (more precisely than just in integers 1-5 -- maybe using a decimal place to elimate too many tie scores). Then I'd like to have an easy (preferably automated) way for the jokes to sort on the page from highest rating to lowest. I would consider a user-selectable "move this joke up/down" arrow sort of thing but I think having some overall rating number for each joke is important. The site is hosted on godaddy.

Blog style adult humor site, where users can add jokes, pictures and games (links or embedded flash files). The admin can also make normal posts with a free text field. User submissions will not be shown by default but first have to be approved by the admin. The admin should be able to manage all submitted content before approving or deleting it. Also pre-publish information days, weeks or even months in advance. - All URL's should be rewritten via a .htaccess. - All user and admin input must be checked, and double checked before inserting it into the database or showing it on the screen. - All pages and results should be paged if there are more then n results. - Site should be protected against hot linking. - The complete site should be done with CSS, no use of tables ...

need someone to do one or both of the following for my site. 1. to create a .htaccess file for the site so that mod re-write will function 2. i have a database of jokes that is in microsoft office access .db file. i need this uploaded to mysql so it registers in my database. Both simple tasks, just i dont have time and need it done quick. further info please PM

...database of site members. You dont need to be as professional as the first group of article writers i described above , but the pay is still the same. You do not need to submit the posts to me , you wil just post them directly to the site as i will keep daily track of those working with me on the website. You will be required to post contents daily to the contents would include jokes , poems, real life experiences as an artiste, comments on profiles,emails to site members etc Think of the normal activities that go on in community websites but this time as an artiste. You do not have to live in Nigeria to participate in this , but you must b knowledgeable about entertainment and have an ability to show interest in the Nigeran entertainment industry Thanks!...

I need to drive quality traffic to my nicely built entertainment website. The site having youtube videos, photos, jokes, articles and news targetted indian community all over the world. This site page rank is 2 but not much users from search engines. Please do a small research on my site and tell me: 1. how much you can help me reach (quality/targetted traffic). 2. time due to get the result 3. your working plan (your strategy) Your marketing methods should be legal and should not violate Google’s webmaster guidelines. -We want traffic basically from the India and NRI's from other countries. -No paid traffic -Traffic must be targeted, bringing relevant people who will be interested in the site. -No spam, bots, robots, link farms -Only white hat methods -...

I am looking for someone to develop a video entertainment application for the iPhone. We would like it to be similar to the IPhunny Jokes program but instead of text, we would like it to be video clips that we already have and are ready to load up. The similar program is: Thank you for bidding on this project . Don

...to hire those who can write 2,500 articles less than a month. Which means you can complete stage by stage. This project's niches are based on : [1] Sports [500 Articles] such as soccer, rugby, F1 etc. [2] Entertainment [500 Articles] such as movies, cartoon, films, reality program, singing program, The Apprentice, Survival etc. [3] Joke, Funny [500 Articles] - such as jokes, etc. [4] Weird, Unbelievable [500 Articles] - If possible, please add them with related pictures because articles alone always can not be enough. Please combine this section with pictures or videos from other sites. But the articles must still keeping the originality. [5] Sexy, Models [500 Articles] - story about dating, sex, models, popular sexy artists, sexual ...

The attached document contains 10 jokes about management. I want each joke to be illustrated with a comic strip containing 3-6 frames. The comic strips should all have similar style. It's up to you to design a unique and original style that is suitable for the topic "management jokes". The comic strips should be delivered in color. They must be delivered in a format and resolution both for print (illustrator,pdf) and for web use (png). For web use, it should be one hi-res version and one low-res. Hi-res: 1024x768 or similar Low-res: 600x400 or similar Please post samples of comic strips/illustrations that you have done in the past.

We are looking for a person with knowledge about internet search who could make a list of websites and blogs of: 1. Humorous. 2. Man: Fashion, Beauty, Trend, Cosmetic and Perfume. Woman: Fashion, Beauty, Trend, Cosmetic and Perfume. 3. Marketing. The list should contain websites by sticking to the following criteria: 1. The minimum extension of URL should b...of the country and they will be included in the list provided by us. 4. Payment will be done after the realization and checking of a given job, and we will pay 20USD per every 500 correct entries you can get as many sites as possible. Tips: -for blogs use GOOGLE BLOG SEARCH and filter the language and country. -for sites try using Google. For example for Humorous sites use Keywords like: “jokes”, “f...

We are looking for a person with knowledge about internet search who could make a list of websites and blogs of: 1. Humorous. 2. Man: Fashion, Beauty, Trend, Cosmetic and Perfume. Woman: Fashion, Beauty, Trend, Cosmetic and Perfume. 3. Marketing. The list should contain websites by sticking to the following criteria: 1. The minimum extension of URL should b...the country and they will be included in the list provided by us. 4. Payment will be done after the realization and checking of a given job, and we will pay 20USD per every 500 correct entries you can get as many sites as possible. Tips: -for blogs use GOOGLE BLOG SEARCH and filter the language and country. -for sites try using Google. For example for Humorous sites use Keywords like: “jokes”, “f...

Hi, I'm trying to build an easier way to manage my files for my site, I lack knowledge in php though and need help. This task should be pretty easy. To understand what I want, look here: That site shows 12 "files", and when it's full it continues on a new page. That is what I want. I want to be able to add a new "file" and it should continue on another page when it's full. This is my site: I want every "file" to be a div-tag, and when I have uploaded 10, it should continue on the next page. I hope this explanation makes sense. Anyways, my site is very much not finished, and it might be needed to rebuild alot of the page for this to work, I'm not sure. So if you bid, please understand that it might

I need someone to put a site together like funny.com. With an admin section. Need sections for written jokes, joke of the day, photos, and video. Please send samples of your work.

... See for details The project must contain the following pages: - homepage a web page with few funies from all funny categories it will have a menu: home, videos, phatos, jokes and news - user page a tab menu with 2 panels: one for messages and one for favorites - videos page a page with last added si most viewed videos - photos page a page with last added si most viewed photos - jokes page a page with last added si most viewed jokes - news page a page with last added si most viewed news Any element must have visible attached information about the date when it was added and how many times it was viewed and the rate info. User can rate a funny, can send the link to a friend, can send messages to an

I am looking for premade template joke site with admin section. Please send links to example site. Needs to include sections for Written Jokes, Video, and Pictures.

I would like from you to build for me a funny website portal in php which must use mysql databases. The portal is pretty simple. It must include: - user registration via email (activation link will be sent on their email) - photos, jokes, movies and funny news sections grouped in groups - user rating and comments for any of this section - the most visited photo, joke, etc. top 20 And for admin: - add/delete/edit groups - validate new joke, photo, movie,... - plan first page for few days The layout is the most important thing in the whole project. First of all the website must look good I'm waiting you for a great colaboration! ## Deliverables THE PRICE CAN BE BIGGER IF THE PROJECT IS QUICK MADE!

Hello, I wish to get a new design for my website, It is a website based on jokes, riddles, videos...Basically everything that is weird and funny. I want a 2 column Wordpress Based Design, a forum that matches the blog design and that meets the latest requirements. I also need some logos and banners designed similar to the basic design as well. Each page has to pass validation and must be SEO friendly, so the person making it should have a good knowledge in SEO and framework. Thanks, Saahil

Hi we are looking for our website logo to have a change to make it have a Christmas feel and appearance to it.

Hi we are looking for our website logo to have a change to make it have a Christmas feel and appearance to it.

Hi, I am looking for some modifications to a live help logo. We need you to fit it into one of the information boxes as you will see at the top page of We ideally would like to keep the live help logo and just have it scaled down to fit the box but also need the two versions does, such as Live Help available and Live Help unavailable. If this is not achievable as perhaps it may look too small then we would need a redesign. I have included the two images and the box.

USA/UK/Australia writers only please. I need the following articles: Article 1: 98. ARTICLE TITLE: Top 10 Project Management Jokes ARTICLE SYNOPSIS: I did a couple of searches online and found the same project management jokes, over and over. (; ). If you can come up with 10 new ones, please take on this article. SEO KEYWORDS: Project Management Jokes Article 2: 238. ARTICLE TITLE: Your Business Is Never Too Small For Project Management ARTICLE SYNOPSIS: A discussion on how even a one person company can benefit from project management software and principles. SEO KEYWORDS: Small Business Project Management Software Article 3: ONE PLACE REVIEW Article 4: An article which explains

Hello, I wish to get a new design for my website, It is a website based on jokes, riddles, videos...Basically everything that is weird and funny. I want a 2 column Wordpress Based Design, a forum that matches the blog design and that meets the latest requirements. I also need some logos and banners designed similar to the basic design as well. Each page has to pass validation and must be SEO friendly, so the person making it should have a good knowledge in SEO and framework. Thanks, Saahil

Looking for reasonable priced SEO and ONLINE MARKETING preferable payable achieved results (make me an offer, as no cure / no pay or small starting fee). Only complete Solutions ! For 4 SITES linked together(PHP programming), 1 has PR3, all others PR1 a. free online games, b. free online radio & TV (webcams, teletext), c. free jokes in video, pictures, cartoons, audio, text - PR3 d. free sincere dating Aim is for each site, WITHIN 6 MONTHS, to get in GOOGLE top 10 (FIRST PAGE) for a minimum SELECTED HIGH SEARCH/ TRAFFIC 6 KEYWORDS of each site Keywords should be in the top range of search a month (English / all countries), like 2 in monthly search range of over 2 million / 2 in 2-1 million / 2 in 1-0,5 million You, as potential contractor, may choose the 6 of ...

Tafadhali Jisajili ama Ingia ili kuona maelezo.

...$dd->META_TITLE; ?>"> <META NAME="Description" content="<?php echo $dd->META_DESC; ?>"> <META NAME="Keywords" content="<?php echo $dd->META_KEY; ?>"> GALLERY INDEX / SEARCH -====================- 2. I have placed the category INDEX pages META and TITLE info (All / Search, Animation, Celebrity Leafs, Church Signs, Cujo Cracks, Hockey Humour, Jersey Jokes, Senator Snickers) into the database, but don't know where to place this in the code so it displays in the generated HTML. Table gallery_index PAGE_TITLE, META_KEY, META_DESC, META_TITLE 3. There is no Table Title displayed on the page, although this too is in the HTML and MYSQL. <td width="*" backg...

Hi, I have a domain name and a main idea for a site. This would be a content driven pretty much auto-pilot site. I would ADSENSE(I've already setup), CLICKBANK (haven't researched yet), EBAY AFFILIATE(Waiting on approval), Specific music and music jokes RSS feeds (Learning slowly) and fill the pages up with lots of content articles. I will try to add a forum group and design rest of the site. I am looking for someone who is an expert in these areas and can guide me in the right direction as well. The site is to be driven by a specific topic. Fresh content and news that will update regularly. I guess the main thing is to find and populate the site with great feeds, articles and content. Topic is MUSIC. How to articles (play guitar, get a recording contract,...

Tafadhali Jisajili ama Ingia ili kuona maelezo.

Hello, I need 4 articles and a little bit of content compilation for a little...teenager problems such as acne. 1 (400) word article describing the benefits of participating in a ? Drama/Acting/Singing,dancing Education. 1 (400) word article written for parents and kids on the subject of wellness. (How to maintain a healthy and wellness centered lifestyle) Then I need for you to compile for me the following information: Compile Puzzles/Factoids/Funny stories/Jokes enough to fill one page - audience is kids and parents so nothing obscene. Turn around time needs to be 48 hours. Articles need to be original, the factoids, funny stories, etc should be public domain. Writing style should be CONVERSATIONAL AND FRIENDLY. No uptight/formal writing please. ...

Tafadhali Jisajili ama Ingia ili kuona maelezo.

Hi I am ...in the follow order listed below. The name for my company name and logo will be given in later. Thanks and happy bidding! ________________________ Louis Vuitton Collection ________________________ Louis Vuitton Monogram White Murakami Black Murakami Monogram Denim Damier Canvas Monogram Perfo Monogram Mini Lin Monogram Groom Monogram Dentelle Monogram Vernis Monogram Jokes Mini Lin Croisette Suhali Leather Mahina Tahitiennes Water color _________________ Other Designers _________________ Anya Hindmarch Balenciaga Bottega Veneta Cartier Chanel Chloe' Christian Dior Dolce&Gabbana Fendi Gucci Hermes Jimmy Choo Lancel Marni Miu Miu Mulberry Prada Thomaswylde Valentino Versace Yves Sa...

Hi I ...will be as follows below and the name for my company name and logo will be given in a few days, happy bidding! ________________________ Louis Vuitton Collection ________________________ Louis Vuitton Monogram White Murakami Black Murakami Monogram Denim Damier Canvas Monogram Perfo Monogram Mini Lin Monogram Groom Monogram Dentelle Monogram Vernis Monogram Jokes Mini Lin Croisette Suhali Leather Mahina Tahitiennes Water color _________________ Other Designers _________________ Anya Hindmarch Balencia Bottega Veneta Cartier Chanel Chloe' Christian Dior Dolce&Gabbana Fendi Gucci Hermes Jimmy Choo Lancel Marni Miu Miu Mulberry Prada Thomaswylde Valentino Versace Yves S...

We are looking for someone to write us 62 small articles each relating to a specific holiday. The articles must be at least 125 words long and be original (pass copyscape) and...Fools' Day April Fools' Day is not actually a holiday but is certainly a notable day that is celebrated in many countries worldwide. This special day is typically known for its serving of hoaxes and silly jokes to unsuspecting family, friends, neighbors and even enemies. The goal of this day is essentially to embarrass unsuspecting victims. Typically, in most countries April Fools' Day only lasts until noon of April 1st and if a joke is played after this time then you are labeled as the fool. In France, however their April Fools' Day lasts all day long with a barrage of practica...

Copy jokes and funny pictures from other sites into my site. The following fields must be filled in: Title: Category: Description/picture: I will need 1,000 jokes and 1,000 pictures. Send PMB for details.

...that you read the article so you have understanding of what you are saying so that the talking comes naturally and doesnt sound like you are reading script. You must sound like an authority on the subject. I am an authority on the subject but I dont have a good accent or pronounciation of english and that's why i need you. It is also desirable but not essential to add a bit of character (laughter, jokes) but sparingly. If you are up for the job you may upload a mp3 for me to listen to so i can see how you speak. The job is "up to" 300 but it wont be less than 200 videos for a month. The videos will be 5 mins long, and please also provide quote for 10mins video in your comment/reply. The video will (or may not) be uploaded to me daily, for example 10 daily, and i ha...

...sessions and products [Details on Phase 3 will be posted after Phase 2 is completed.] Extra Information Client Needs Advice on variety of topics e.g. Strategy, Dilemmas, Time Management Easily book sessions Rewards for progress and achievement, X number of sessions triggers a free gift. To learn new ways of thinking and doing Feel better Positive emotions – Humour/self development jokes/cartoons Both interactive and passive resources My needs Least maintenance Automated as much as possible Sell me and coaching – slide show with voiceover Rich content/ User driven content/Blogs from associates by RSS Make money from resources/affiliates/referrals/shopping area Referrals from past/current clients Marketing – Press/Events Website pr...

Looking for a website specifically for a cell/mobile phone. When looking at the website from a PC I want it to show a black screen with a mobile /cell phone in the middle showing the correct website. When viewing the website from the mobile I would like the website to show very well as the website is on...screen with a mobile /cell phone in the middle showing the correct website. When viewing the website from the mobile I would like the website to show very well as the website is only meant to view on a mobile phone. I would like a small search engine powered by google and all content powered by RSS feeds (News +) The first page will need to have icons to link to the sub pages with News, jokes, horiscopes etc all powered by rss feeds. Payment on competion using escrow....

Looking for a pro who can get quality backlinks for funny/jokes/weird stuff blog. Some rules that apply: -no blogs -no link farms -no directories -no forums -must be DOFOLLOW links -links must be from a related web site with unique content -no multiple links from the same domain -all links must be permanent -no links from blog comments -no links from spam farms -links must be static -only text links accepted -no labeled or sponsored links I will also need an excel spreadsheet or text file with all the URLs that have a link.

I'm looking for some to design a music download / social network site. Must have folowing section Music (full access with paid membership) social network forum ring tones photo gallery contact us it should have paid and free membership system. Free members will have access to whole site except they can't download or list...have folowing section Music (full access with paid membership) social network forum ring tones photo gallery contact us it should have paid and free membership system. Free members will have access to whole site except they can't download or listen music. Free members also have access to social network section. Script should be easily expandable if we want to add more sections, for ex. jokes, chat, news etc. something smi...

Similar to youtube so that people can post or upload music, audio, videos and jokes, that can be rated and shortlisted. Easy to update Blog/forum function (articles that can be commented) Member accounts/profile Contests/votes - users can vote Room for banners (advertiser) Tip a friend (send mail to a friend about the site) *Some extra functions will be added later.

Need someone to redo website lost all databases with server upgrade. Site can be changed or worked as is. Must have riddles and jokes. Currently php design, can be wordpress or joomla. Please don't bid if you don't have time to do the job. Must see previous work. I have other websites that I will link to with wallpapers and horoscopes. I just need a functioning website so I can put advertising back on it. It have a myspace resources section which can be removed and the scuttlebutt will be removed completely. Show me some of your work and lets get this done quickly can be turnkey or from scratch it is an entertainment website. Thanks for your time.

Tafadhali Jisajili ama Ingia ili kuona maelezo.

...entry projects for me. I will provide you with access to Wordpress blogs and you will have to make a copy and paste of the following - - Jokes - atleast 500 I will provide you with the concerned sites with jokes, you have to make the category and copy the jokes on my blog. - SMSes - atleast 500 I will provide you with the concerned sites with jokes, you have to make the category and copy the SMSes on my blog. - Food Recipes atleast 100 I will provide you with the concerned sites with jokes, you have to make the category and copy the "recipes + images" on my blog. - Poetry atleast 100 I will provide you with the concerned sites with jokes, you have to make the category and copy the poetries on my blog. --- Ple...

I would like to get a Website video/picture/Jokes gallery similar to the one at [][1], [][2], or <>. My goal is to have a site that doesn't look like just another Wordpress blog or youtube site. The gallery should be simple to update. Allow multiple galleries/pages and some space for Google ads. Videos should be in flv. ## Deliverables 1) Complete and fully-functional working program(s) in executable form as well as complete source code of all work done. 2) Deliverables must be in ready-to-run condition, as follows (depending on the nature of the deliverables): a) For web sites or other server-side deliverables intended to only ever exist in one place in the Buyer's env

I am looking for individuals who can bring members into a new social networking website. This is not a dating site; this is a site for people to interact, post topics, share opinions, jokes, videos, etc. We need active members. To get credit for your member, you must have them post an introduction stating your name, thus you will be compensated for this member. Once the member has been active (meaning contributes to the site in posting several times a week)for a month, you will be compensated for this member. I will pay, thru pay pal, $.50-$1.00 per active member. The site I am trying to build is: Am looking for two individuals who can complete this project. Project will be on-going until such time I feel promotion is no longer necessary. PM for more information

...screen displays top joke - Next, Previous and Random display jokes in correct sequence - Finger navigation (left slide, right slide, top slide and bottom slide) match the respective navigation buttons 3) Qualitatively judge if the app does what a user would expect it to do in an intuitive way (basic functions only) 4) Submit our app to the? Apple App Store on our behalf. The app will be free to users so there are no revenue issues. Full control of the app will be turned over to us once our? iPhone Developer Program application? is approved. ## Deliverables Some additional details about our iPhone native app: The? iPhone native app is based on our Google 'Daily Humor by Giglish' gadget and? displays latest jokes by late night comedians Jay ...

Tafadhali Jisajili ama Ingia ili kuona maelezo.