Editorial Feedback on Fictional Novel

Hi, Lovely writing. I wonder if you've posted something similar to this before - and we talked about tango? So, you do not want proofreading and editing - you just want feedback on how to improve the story - correct? How many words? (200 pages double-spaced? = about 50,000 words? I can work on this in the next few days. I have lots of experience outside of this site - writing, editing, teaching creative writing and doing manuscript consultations. So I'm very familiar with story structure and character develpment. Please take a look at my reviews and portfolio here. I also have a background in dance and in Wholistic therapy / healing arts. I've researched the use of tango in helping with Alzheimers and Parkinsons. I look forward to discussing this with you further.

Hi there, I am a professional editor. You may check my portfolio and reviews (https://www.freelancer.com/u/revival786.html) or ask me for more samples to have an idea about the quality of my service. I am highly interested in doing this project so you can discuss with me on chat box. Looking forward to hearing from you soon! Regards, Revival

Hi, I have seen your project details. I already have completed several projects on this filed. If you would like to see some sample of my previous task, Please come to PM and let me know more details of your TASK.I may be the person who can help you perfectly. Thank you

Hello, I am a professional book writer, editor and proofreader with three years of experience. I have written many fiction and non-fiction books in past. I have read your project description and understood. I think you are looking for a synopsis of your novel or something like that. If it is then please contact me immediately. I will surely contact you back. looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks

Editing Warrior for Hire! You have just found the perfect freelancer for your project. I live in Australia and English is my first and only language. My strengths are accuracy, reliability and attention to detail. I will work to your brief and will aim to exceed your expectations for this project. Recent feedback 15/7/2015: "I have to say: excellent" I HAVE FIRSTHAND EXPERIENCE WITH THE TOPIC HAVING RECENTLY SPENT FOUR MONTHS LIVING WITH MY MOTHER WHO HAS ALZHEIMERS AND NOW PROVIDING SUPPORT. I HAVE UNDERTAKEN EXTENSIVE READING AND RESEARCH TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THIS. EXPERIENCE Over 25 years experience working in an advertising and marketing agency SKILLS Editing, proofreading, transcription services, social media manager, layout and design using Adobe Indesign, Microsoft - Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Wordpress RELIABLE Delivering to timelines COMMUNICATION Regularly communicates to ensure project is on track I have bid competitively, given the level of service and professionalism offered and would welcome the opportunity to work with you on this project. Your Editing Sensei! Regards Heather

Yours is a good story. But it does have a couple of places in the opening chapter that need toning down. Little things, like "sobs" is enough; "jagged sobs" is too much. As an authentic wordsmith with exceptional editing skills, I can go the extra mile to make your book really strong, which is why I cost a little more. My 37 years as a newspaper copy editor honed my ability not only to find errors, but to choose the best words, imagery, and imaginative phrasing. This year I have completed editing five books -- a children's story, a self-help book, an illustrated handbook aimed at the entrepreneurial crowd, a personal journal about spirituality, and, most recently, a thriller set in Africa. I have a gift for making dialogue resonate with readers, and my keen eye for accurate characterization in fiction is highly developed. I would love to help you with your project. Talk to you soon!

Good afternoon, Thank you for explaining the needs for your project and also for providing a sample chapter to review. I am a former journalist with nearly 20 years of experience writing, editing and proofreading. I particularly enjoy alpha and beta reading and providing feedback. Your topic is intriguing and I would love to learn more about how dancing and dealing with Alzheimer's are entwined. While I have not danced since ballet lessons in the elementary school, I have seen many people turn to artistic mediums while dealing with a deteriorating family member. For example, I watched in awe as my stepmother helped care for her mother and mother-in-law who both had Alzheime'rs - my stepmother coped by weaving beautiful blankets. I would love the opportunity to work with you and provide constructive points. For examples, reading through your sample, in the dream sequence, where it was written that the father was handsome, I would suggest adding more description here; show the reader why he was handsome instead of simply stating it. Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions or would like to see examples of my work. Thank you for your time and consideration, Mariah Patterson

Hello, I am a professional editor/writer born and raised in the U.S.A. I am available to start immediately on your book. I have a very deep understanding of Alzheimer's (my grandmother and grandfather) as well as an advanced education in psychology. I would be very happy to work on your project. A little about my background: My time spent in the United States Air force as a journalist and advanced education from Arizona State University (Journalism, business and English Lit.) has given me the skills and professionalism you need. I am an expert on all social media platforms, a trained expert in Microsoft Office Software (word, excel, access etc...). I have also edited over 300 academic books, 200 fiction novels, hundreds of academic papers, 4 T.V. Shows, 12 films and over 100 Scripts. I guarantee high quality work on time, with no errors. I hope to speak with you soon! Thank you for your consideration! Have a nice day :)

Hello, I am writing to express my keen interest on the content writer position. I would like to present my CV with this regards. Having good verbal skills and writing style, I believe to become as asset to your organization. Original content and quick turnaround time is something I can offer you. My experience and knowledge that I have gained in the past five years will be an added advantage to your company. During this span of time, I was responsible to write web content for some particular websites and portals. I was involved with management responsibilities as well. I have expertise in the management and development of different websites. I believe content writers form the basic element of any website and hence their responsibilities are also very important. I have worked with a qualified team of the search engine optimizers (SEO) and provided them with good quality articles that would bring huge traffic to the website.. I have also worked in a number of departments and developed the good content related to application and other forms. I am flexible and have good business relationships with the people I work with. Writing had always been fun for me. I can think differently. Moreover, I am open to learning new concepts, which I believe helps me in the growth of my career. I know what it takes to be a good writer and bring success at article marketing. I am looking forward to meet you and discuss on this further. Sincerely, Pearl iGTTech,

Hi I would like to work for you. I will provide highly credible paper with my senior level experience. You may be rest assured of ethical standard and dealings from me not in term of work only, but also value for money too as I am a senior professional and cannot afford to behave unduly. You may look at my outstanding reviews. I am a qualified professional with long experience in Business, Strategy and Finance. Presently I am into my own consulting services. With this background, I will be able to deliver better service for you. Look forward to hear from you. Best Regards / Sanjib

I am a high school teacher with editing, writing, and proofreading experience. I have a major in English, as well as an excellent attention to detail. I am accustomed to commenting on overall content and tone, rather than simply finding grammatical errors. I read the initial chapter of your novel, and I am interested in reading the rest. While I do not yet have experience editing a fictional novel, my experience as a teacher, as an avid reader, and as the granddaughter of someone with Alzheimer's make a qualified applicant.

Hello, My name is Janet Devlin, and it would be a pleasure to critique your novel. I read through your chapter and would love to read more. I have lost family members to Alzheimer's and can relate to the heartbreak and frustration of having to witness vital and happy people disintegrate into shells of themselves. For a little background on me, I have been editing for over 20 years and am comfortable with all aspects from content and line to proofreading. Some recent projects include both fictional and nonfiction editing and proofing. Each job required honest feedback and suggestions for content and flow, along with the usual correcting of grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Thank you for taking the time to review my proposal. If you have any questions for me, please don’t hesitate to ask! Best regards, Janet

Dear Madam/Sir, I trust you are in good health and spirit. I would like to thank you for considering my proposal. I have gone through the description you have provided for the project and found it compatible with my skills and capabilities. For your consideration I am hereby submitting few of my work examples and strengths: I have written more than 5000 articles, website contents, reviews, product descriptions, press release, product brochure & blogs. My work is 100% creative and plagiarism free. I believe in completing my tasks in time. I can manage my time schedule according to your requirements. I always provide quality work and you can pay me after checking assigned work.

Even though I have not edited formally many novels, I have edited several fiction pieces, some leading up to novels. Currently, I am editing a novel being published along the way, which I am more than happy to show you if you wish to see it. I may be underage, but I believe firmly that I can assist you with a different view of your work besides but including grammar, story-lines, plot holes, etc. I also do write novels, so I understand the writing process and struggles and what to look for after completing two. In understanding your audience, I too am a women, and I have lived around adults and seniors for most of my life, whom I could easily ask for assistance. I may complete the assignment earlier than posted if the font remains as the one you have posted or if you specify certain areas you are curious to figure out. Thank you for your time, and I wish you the best of luck to meet your deadline.