Funny blurbs for gift ideas

I need 50 word blurbs to go with each of the gift ideas on this page: [login to view URL] I would like the text to be entertaining when possible - funny, witty, or possibly a bit sarcastic (if not too biting). The writing should be conversational in style. I want to hire several writers to do small sample sets of these (maybe 10-12 blurbs or hire for 1 hour), until I find the right voices, then make arrangements for larger batches. This page will target google searchers who have entered search queries like "gift ideas for coworkers". In most cases the descriptions on the page should be tailored for people with that question on their minds - in other words, the text doesn’t need to focus on product details and specs, but on why the gift idea might be a good choice for a coworker. Some specifics about a product may be helpful in a gift description in some cases, but in other cases you may not even need to click the link to read more about the product to come up with an entertaining idea about how a coworker might use the item, or why they might want or need it. For example, there is the gift idea “Solar Charger For USB Devices…”, which has a product image of a specific brand and model of solar charger, but I don’t want a product description for the Dizaul 500 that is pictured, but for the general idea - why a small portable solar charger might be a useful gadget for a coworker to have. If website visitors like the idea they can click over to Amazon and shop different brands of chargers, and even a year from now when the Dizaul 500 may be obsolete, there will be newer models to shop found at that same link. While it is important to have the keywords that the page is targeting - gifts for coworkers - present in various places throughout the text of the overall page, don’t try to cram keywords into each description. It’s more important that the descriptions are natural, casual, and written for readers rather than optimized for search engines. Every now and then you might use the word “coworker” or “gift” but certainly not in every blurb. This is true for all variations and related keywords - work, workplace, office, job, employee, career, etc - all words that google understands are relevant to “coworkers” and can help google figure out what the page is about. It’s great if these words can be worked in from time to time, but only if it sounds natural and not repetitive. You can read some examples on the page [login to view URL] There are 30 or so scattered around on that page. We don’t want to include any product prices in the text as those are subject to change.